I'm really Self-Absorbed (I Love My Life)

This is going to be a rambling, self-indulgent, unfunny post. I'm working on the format of this shit. Give me a fucking break.

I love my life. That's a pretty annoying thing to say, right? It makes you pissed and uncomfortable? Makes you kind of hate me? It makes you think about why you're always sitting around, complaining about you're boring, hum-drum, do-nothing life, right? What is this uppity little bitch doing that makes her life so awesome? Well I'll tell you: nothing. I've done nothing. I'm way too young and inneffectual to have done anything of any worth. I'm pretty much free of any sort of real responsibility, and I have almost nothing in my life that would cause me to have to think very hard. Oh sure, I've got a job. My job is pretty standard as jobs go. I do stuff. During the week. There are computer monitors and excel sheets and Outlook invites. I get stressed out about work sometimes. But then i take a good look at what i do, and i realize something very important: Nothing fucking matters. (Yes, I realize i have used two colons in this post. I might even use another one. I'm okay with that. I'll ask for your courtesy in letting it slide.) What i do impacts the universe at large in no way, so it's virtually impossible to take myself seriously. I'll start to get down on myself because I'm worried I'm not doing a good job and everyone will realize it, but nobody is paying attention to me because they're so worried about keeping their proverbial asses out of their respective fires. So i just roll along. I've contructed a vertible shanty of a life for myself, and it could crumble at any moment. The history books will speak disapprovingly of my hubris. To steal a phrase from my brother, that shadow that's obscuring the sun is the other shoe. Like Ginuwine's next album, it's about to drop.

But fuck if i don't have fun. Fuck. Fuckfuck. Fuck.