Dishes and Chunks: On Ineptitude

There are certain people in this world that avoid responsibility by feigning ineptitude. I've done it. I think you all have too, at some point or another. It's a pretty neat trick and will work if you surround yourself by the smart, capable and egotistical. If you pretend you can't do something as well as someone else, there's always some eager beaver that will throw themselves at the particular task, thus absolving you of responsibility. The uber-talented bullshit artist can even spin this to make themselves look better. When questioned about why they couldn't complete the assignment, they retort that it's not every employee that has the self-awareness to realize what they can and cannot do. This person has simply realized that on that particular subject another person would have been more capable, and it was for the benefit of the project and in turn the company thay someone else work in it. Is it not true that the great leaders realize where their strengths and weaknesses lie, and seek to surround themselves with people that can fill in their gaps? This is exaclty what the feigner has done. As i've mentioned before, most people are too wrapped up in their own bullshit to care who gets anything done, as long as the still look good. This excuse can get the feigner pretty far up the corporate ladder, although upon closer inspection they have done absolutely nothing at all.
Now to balance out the corporate feigner, we also have the corporate martyr. This person picks up the slack when the feigner is feigning. This person will gladly be accountable for all projects that come their way, regardless of their work level or aptitude. They never complain, and pretend that they are ashamed when lauded for their hard work and follow-through. This is simply another form of pretense, because in fact it is the compliments and gratitude that get them out of bed in the morning and if anybody forgets about how hard the work they'll find myriad ways to indirectly remind everyone within shooting distance. The martyrs are the mitochondrial work horses of the company, and are the reason anything gets done at all. They all burn out after three years and end up sitting in dark basements writing out lists of the feigner's name while fondling their assault rifles.
At times in my life i've been both a feigner and a martyr. We all have. But there was one particular instance in my life that caused me to think twice about pretending to suck at stuff, and as usual this lesson came from my shitty brother. He used to ask me to do the dishes. Being that i'm royalty in my own mind this request came as a full-frontal assault to all of my sensibilities. When he finally beat the shit out of me and forced me to do them, the job was half-assed at best. The next time it came to be my turn for dish duty, recalling the last episode. I would whine, "But Oak, look at what happened last time. I did such a bad job. There were chunks all over the dishes."
His response: "Fuck you. You're not going to get out of this by pretending you're bad at it. A drunken marmoset can do the fucking dishes. Take some responsiblity for yourself. Asshole."

In those exact words.

This post isn't about favoring either position. I could not care less what you do. I'm just observing shit everybody else already knows. Just more astutely.

Like how i'm trying to cover my ass for being self-indulgent about my blog? That's why i'm awesome.